Some here and some there

I find myself always asking people, are you ok when they are not ok. Well, it is just a way for me to ask if there is something wrong and for people to tell me what is wrong. There is something wrong with sis 1 but I don’t think she would want to tell me via comments on blog. So if you are reading please go online. Sis 2 doesn’t dare to ask and I am going to ask. It’s not good to bottle it up, just tell and cry if you need to. That way, you will feel so much better.

I find that I am not good at giving advice but I am good at listening. I am really good at being invisible while you are talking. I am not joking and I tend to exaggerate when it comes to stories but who wouldn’t be. Humans are not perfect.

Today was the CMSA bbq so we went along. The theme was traffic lights with red representing in a relationship, yellow means it is complicated and green mean single. Some people really wear the colours. I didn't follow and I wore black. But I don't think I should follow. People would think that you are so desperate. I think if I wear red, ex-coursemate would definitely come ask me, "wah, you are really taken?" and start asking who is the other half.

Photoshop-ed

See how cute Brownie was? I really miss Brownie. He is such a cutie. I miss how he used to stand up and look at me, ready to pounce on me when I come to pat him. He will lie on his back and start chewing my fingers when I pat him on the chest. I guess Brownie is not brown after all. He got even more whiter as he grew up. When he was born, he was a bit brown.

Sherp photoshop-ed the photo.

I really feel like hug Brownie and squeezed his ear.

Christmasy

Christmas is coming. Hmm.. it just makes me so excited, moreover my relatives are here and we can celebrate Christmas together. This is just so fun.

We haven't exactly started decorating the house but I certainly did start with decorating on my computer. The header of my blog is snow photo and my firefox windows is also decorated with Christmas decoration. Maybe I should start putting up desktop Christmas tree as my desktop background. It would make the feeling even more merrier.



Really, you should start putting up Christmas decorations on the computer just like me.

Some more

Some more updates.
I forgot to mention that there was actually an earthquake on Thursday.
It happen at 8 something in the morning. I am guessing it should be somewhere around 8 because my alarm is at 9. Anyway, I was sleeping that time and all of a sudden, my room was shaking including my bed. I thought I was dreaming but it couldn't be. I experienced a kind like this before and it was an earthquake. I asked another friend that day and she said that one of the screen projector in class was also shaking. And when I went to work, the chef said that there was an earthquake. So that proves that I wasn't dreaming. Others said they do not feel anything and slept through it. Not everyone is a light sleeper so they probably wouldn't feel it.

Oh ya, went to the friend's house for dinner and the food was good. I ate till I was so full.
Before that when we were on our way to friend's house, I saw accident at the Church Corner traffic light. It was the right turn at the traffic lights. Maybe it was because of the sun that makes the driver not be able to see that there was a car coming towards it. And there was the tyre scretching sound which makes sound like it's really bad accident. Boom! The front part of the car was crashed. I did not see anything after that. That was scary.
For a moment there, it reminds me of my previous accident. Stupid old man though, did not see that I was stopping. Well, I think I was still a bit traumatized by that. I mean who wouldn't be. It was one day before I went for my restricted license. I was excited to get my license that time.
But accidents happen. You can only prevent it but you cannot avoid it.

Update of Job

Ok, for the second time at my job. This time, it's quiet at the restaurant on Monday. I read a magazine to waste my time. I think I looked forward to finish the job every time I go to work. Well, the work is not that bad. Just a few orders and I set up the tables for the next day or following day. I am lucky to have friends who are willing to pick me up. So thank you, friends. I promise to cook for you guys. Just let me know if you need dinner.

Anyway, I wanted to say one thing, after reading a post about bloggers from Kennysia.com, bloggers really have to be careful of what they blogged about. Well, for me rite.. I think I blogged more of my daily life and what I do here. And some of the post I wrote are mostly complaints from me. I think it would be boring to those people who doesn't know me or even those who know me. You may not want to listen to my complaints anyway. But who cares. This is my blog and I am going to write whatever I want about complaints. It's more like complaints about myself. I think it's more like a diary of a person. It should be private though. But I blogged just so that my friends, relatives, cousins and family know what I am up to here, instead of me having to repeat what I typed to one person.

Truth

I am going to be truthful when I described what I am doing on this job.

I just wanted to say something about the job. I was working on Friday, and I have few customers asking me how long the food will be done. It was only my first time working by myself and I just simply estimate. Few of them were impatient. Then, one was about to order but commented, it’s going to take a long time huh? I answered yes. So, this customer showed an angry face and walked away. Well, it’s not my fault there’s so many orders on that day, right? It’s not my fault that the chef has to cook for a lot of people, right? I feel that the customer was being rude. She shouldn’t have showed an angry face. Why should she? It’s not like she was being treated unfairly.

Another customer, after waiting for a long time, demanded his money back. I think I must have misplaced the order and I quickly took in for the chef to cook before I suspect he comes demanding his money. Man.. when he comes in demanding, I was so scared of him. Now, whenever I think about going to work, the image of this angry customer comes into my mind. It kinds of disturbs me and made me want to quit my job. First day on the first job and I am thinking of quitting, what the… I was letting out my feelings to a friend and he/she told me that sooner or later, I will experience it. It’s true but it just scared me out so much. How come I experience some stuff so early? For example, this and another one was when I was getting my driver license. I had a first time accident before I even sat for the practical test. Oh, it’s not my fault, by the way. It was an old man’s fault. I am not telling more.

As for the old man demanding his money, I was told that it’s ok, it’s only my first time. Yea, I was told that even from close friends but I still feel that it creeps me out.

I guess every jobs has its stressness. Hehe.. I enjoy working on this job, just the image of the old man demanding money creeps me out. I am going to quit when I cannot take it anymore. Em will be coming in to work with me so I am hoping at least I can have someone helping me. I think they need more people to work because they don’t have enough people.

Pissed

I don't know what to think and say. I was only just talking about the job and how I need people to pick me up. So should I just walk back and risk myself getting raped or kidnapped or whatever? Is that how you want me to do? I am just annoyed and pissed off. No, don't need to say anything to me.

I am just feeling angry. Maybe I should just privatise my blog. Maybe I shouldn't share my good news. Maybe I shouldn't have talk about the job on this blog.

So happy

I just want to say that I am so happy that my grade for one of my paper has been changed. AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Tired

The moment I stepped out from the exam room, I am on holiday. Yay! How did I do for my exam? I think it was ok, I answered all the questions. Hope it will be ok.
Maybe it was nervous feeling that made me sleep at 3am this morning. I woke up at 8.30am to go for my test. Man.. I was so tired. I wanted so much to go back to sleep. After exams, I came back to nap for a while.

BERSATU Games.
Remember the post where I post up the T-shirt of mine? Blue T-shirt. Anyway, I went to the rehearsal at 3pm. I didn't do much though. Only manage to help out with using the party poppers.

Opening ceremony.
Not much. I stood by the door to welcome them. Suddenly feel so shy. ><
Since I was in charge of Wellington contingent, I went to introduce myself to the head, who will ask me any questions or help if they need to. (He's cute.) Hehehe..

Anyway, there was a news that 4 uni students from Otago University got accident at Lake Wanaka, on the way from Queenstown to Christchurch. One of them passed away. I feel so sorry for them. They are first year students. I mean, first year studying and gone just like that.
Apparently, the car went into the lake. I think the road by the lake is dangerous. I passed by before and I think the road is dangerous if they were speeding or if the weather is not good. Man.. I hope he/she rest in peace. I also hope the other 3 get well soon.

Earlier this year, Mum told me, if I am travelling anywhere with friends, take the bus. Yea.. I guess it would be good. The bus drivers are more experienced. We were planning to drive to Dunedin for our trip but I remembered that Mum said to use the bus. So yea.. we are using the bus.

Ok, will update again about the games.

Can't find my blood veins?

I had my Stats exam yesterday. Ask me? I thought it was ok. I dare not say much about it. I know I didn't know some of the answers. I just wrote whatever I learnt from high school, I didn't memorise the whole chapter. Would you do it if you were to memorise the whole chapters?
I am just hoping for the best and the rest is for God to decide. =)

Anyway, after exam, Anu, Liyana, Em and I went shopping for dinner. I was supposed to cook Hainan Chicken Rice. We (Emma and I) invited Wei Zheng, Wei Wen and Jonathan along. They brought wine. But it was really nice to have gatherings. They came thought they had a test this morning. Good! Anyway, I got photos to show you. But somehow, I cannot upload them. I will upload them when my connection is faster.

After dinner, we cleaned up and had desserts. Ice cream. Chatted for a while before Wei Zheng, Jonathan and Wei Wen left. Shah came to join us. Oh, who is Shah, we know him through Liyana. Anyway, he came to join us after that. We hang out in my room for one hour. Just talking and playing uno. Then, they left.

Suddenly, Anu felt like having bubble tea. Guess what? She got a car and she can take us there right away. We chatted till midnight and came back. I think I only went to sleep at only 1am.
Friday, I had to get up early to go for this Health and Well Being Study. Why I join this? I volunteered to give them my blood sample to study on and my eating habits, in exchange of a $100 petrol voucher. No, it's not for me. It's for Anu's car. =)
In the end, I did not give them my blood sample. Why? Cos they cannot find my blood vein. I got 4 holes on my left arm and one hole on my right arm. They sent me to the lab to take blood test but failed in the end. They got me to soak both my arms in warm, warm water. Apparently, it's just for the blood veins to show up. But they still cannot find mine. Weird, I know. Oh ya, I got red spots on my right arm. Not cos of the hot water. It's the tightening thing when they want to poke needle to take your blood. You understand, right? I don't really know how to explain the term. Hehe!
I am not complaining. I am just just telling you all. So, don't misunderstood my meanings of blogging.

P/s: I forgot to mention that I also have small holes on all my 10 fingers with 2 on 2 fingers. All cos prinking to get my PH blood. ;(

*Blank Look*

See? I have been studying since I know there will be finals for the papers I took early this year. By the time the exam week started, I am already sick of studying for my stats exam. I made sure I knew what kind of questions would come out and how I would answer them, etc. There is still one more day before I sit for this exam and I am waiting out of mind. I kept thinking, is there anything else that I should know. I felt that I should be studying more but I cannot find any other stuff to study. Say, if I think it’s enough for the moment, I should study for my other papers. I don’t feel comfortable and start worrying about stats. At times, I feel like screaming. Emma would say, don’t study then. But then I would feel guilty. So, what should I do? There’s no solution to this, right?

Chatting to my cousin, Lynn Xuan seems the best at the moment since my sisters or mum are not online. I just feel like I wanted to talk. Oh.. I see my mum is online in google but idle. Sigh.. I was chatting to my youngest sister. I asked her, so how was it like to stay at home without the other sister. She said normal because my sister wouldn’t want to play with her. Before that, I told her, this is what it’s gona be like when Sherp left for uni. Ok, I feel guilty about making her think of this but this is life, right? Then, I commented that it would be so boring during meals if you don’t have someone telling stories and making jokes. Hehe.. that is me if I am on the table eating. So, Ivy told me sometimes at dinner, my mum would commented that ‘if da jie is here, she would have finish the food.’ I’m guessing that they did not finish the food. How I miss mum’s cooking. Well, it made me miss home the moment Ivy told me. Sigh.. aaa.. I want to go home.

These days, I find that I cannot sleep at night. If I tried to sleep early, I would be lying on the bed for 2 hours. My early means 11pm. Then, I would wake up at 9 in the morning. How weird and I don’t feel sleepy at all.

Ok, I should stop rambling and continue to stare at stats. If I’m feeling fine, I would be studying for others. =)

Stupid case

Cleaning and tidying things has always been a tiring job. That was what Emma and I did today. We had to clean our flats. It happens every end of the semester. Em cleaned the fridge. She took out all the stuff and wipe the drawers. It was so clean after all the cleaning. She wiped the mirror in our bathroom as well. So, what did I do? I am supposed to remove all the rubbish and clean the cupboards and shelves. I vacuumed the living room and mopped the floor as well. I did my room as well. So tiring. After all these, Em and I decide to reward ourselves by going out to watch movie. =)

The fridge that Em cleaned and it is so tidy now.

Em mopping again in the kitchen.

Well, you know what I just found out. I went to this Christchurch Chinese Church Young Adult Group. This topic came up.

Catholics are not Christians.

I cannot believe my ears. I was thinking, what the hell did they think? Sorry for the language but I was really shocked. They were saying that Catholics are not Christians because we worship Mother Mary. What the heck did they think? I answered them no, we don't. Then, they said, but Catholics, in general, do that. Erm.. I didn't know how to answer that cos my family do not pray to Mother Mary. I know there was a session before mass starting on Saturday vigil but I have no idea what is it about. We do not go to that.

Then, Em said that I am not a true Catholic and why do I still call myself Catholic. Well, I don't care and I want to call myself Catholic. So what would you call yourself? Just Christian? There are many kinds of Christians.
Also, I wanted to clarify, so they call us Catholic not Christian and they are Christian themselves.
And we Catholic call ourselves, true Christian and they are the Protestants.
This is what I get the idea from both sides.
This is like war. My goodness. Why not just accept the fact we are all Christians and don't say anything else in front of other Christians. Just keep your mouth shut.
I feel really hurt by what they said. Ish..
Now, just leave this issue aside and let's not say anything. I do not want to hear anything said about this in front of me. ME. If you want to say anything, go ask others. Not me.



Sorry for what I just said but I just want to let out my feelings. LET OUT. Understand? You don't have to say anything else.
I just want to say my part. I guess I am not like others who likes to say what is on their mind immediately. I tend to take my time thinking and then said what I think. I didn't want to hurt other people's feelings. Once again, am I just too nice or what? Now, I know these people I said won't ever read my blog but who cares. At least I let out my feelings. I don't need them to know what I thought now. It doesn't matter.

Now, I repeat. This is my blog and I want to say anything I want. If you don't like it, too bad. My blog is meant to be private. It's only for relatives and close friends. I did not privatise it cos I thought some friends of mine do not have blogger or gmail accounts.

Case closed.

International Food Fair + Flat Meeting

I like blogging this way. =)
My Math 221 test is tomorrow. I know.. there's not much to study. Bibi didn't even started studying till today. I started like last week. I looked at the first 2 questions on previous year quiz blankly. I did not attend the lecture that time cos I was sick. Stupid sick, yea.. who ask me to get sick. But.. it's ok now that I understand.

Anyway, my point of this post is to tell you about international food fair in uni. I didn't went to one last year. So, this began this morning, I was walking to my class when Azmir, one of the Malay scholar and also a friend, called out to me. My goodness, he cut his hair and I cannot even recognised him. Ya.. asked me to buy nasi lemak, said that he made it. Ha ha ha.. *sarcastic laugh

Met up with Emma at the central library to go to UCSA and met Liyana there as well. Good! I'm guessing all the Malaysians are there. Bibi was also there. Good news, Farhana finally came to class after such a long time skipping class and also went to the food fair. =)
Actually, you can't call it International Food fair, it's more like Malaysian Food Fair. There was a Singapore and Samoan stall though. But, tell you.. it's dominated by Malaysian stall. He he he..

Oh ya.. we got a flat meeting just now. The three Americans in our flat are going back this end of Semester 1. We finally worked out who is supposed to take out the trash and who brings down the trash. Who buys the toilet papers. Who is next to buy dishwashing liquid.
I was thinking, finally work this out. Should have done it in the beginning of the year. Sigh.. all the time...

Dilemma

After we looked at the soon-to-be house that both Emm and I are going to move in next year, we decide too fast and without clarifying or discussion with parents. Yea, I think so. But I was excited that we actually found a house. I wanted to get out from the Ilam flat that we are currently living in. I know living with other people means that there are going to be lots of problems, I kind of expected that the kitchen will be dirty and there will be unwashed dishes around. But what I did not think is if I will be able to cope with those.

Clearly, I don't. I hate how the unwashed dishes sitting on the sink with lots of cutleries. And doing those dishes for them won't help, they will just continue to pile everyday, hoping that you will do for them.

Another thing I do not like staying in Ilam flats is that, you are not allowed to put your stuff/things in their storage at the end of the year, I was told that there is no insurance if there is a robbery. Well... I do not know.. and I hate moving my stuff around, try imagine that, moving your stuff every year. Makes it feel as if you don't have a proper home. Ya.. listen to my crap la..

But I think I will be doing that for the next few years till I finally find a perfect place. So, don't be surprised when I said that I'm gona move again.
I wanted to say something but I forgot already. I will post again when I remembered.

More ramblings

I forgot to say that I signed up to 2 sessions of the economics experiement on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon in the previous post of ramblings. I got reasonable pay for it. I'm glad for that. Should have talk about it. No wonder I feel like I haven't done anything. =)

It was raining on Wednesday and I got wet especially my white pants. You can see how wet it is. Sigh.. I didn't bring the umbrella cos I thought it was raining that hard. How do I know by the time I reached my class, I was all wet? Yea.. sigh..

As I have mentioned, I went groceries shopping with Emma on Thursday. On Friday, I accompanied Liyana to the city. She wanted to do something. Oh ya.. she came to sleepover on Thursday night cos she got an exam before that. It's safer to walk to Ilam flats than to her place. It is really dark to walk to her place. It's ok if you have someone else to walk with you. That is what Emma and I always did when we walked her home. The last time we walked her home, Emma and I sang a song all the way, to occupy our mind (and I think that could keep other people away=) ). After ICF on Thursday night, we went out for dinner, with Mark, Yani, Audrey, Genvierne, Emma and me. It was interesting dinner. I think I am known as Tofu girl cos I told them that I used to buy tofu at the market whenever mum goes to Saturday market. I also remember I was asked to buy tofu by dad or mum in Bintulu. Hmm.. =)

Oh ya.. that Thursday afternoon, I learnt more keys of the song Yu Jian from Emma. Since I do not know how to play piano, I have to memorise whichever keys. Have to practise more actually. So far, I haven't practise since Thursday. I should play again tomorrow. Hm.. I think I mentioned this in the last post. Well, nevermind. I think I forgot to blog about what I did in the previous ramblings post.

Didn't do much on Saturday, I met up with Bibi to find some exercises for our test on Wednesday. Our lecturer did not prepare any sample test for us which sucks, cos we have no idea what to expect for the test. The textbooks that he recommended us to read and fo the exercises are out. He promised to make them 2 hour-loan but he only just did it yesterday (friday). Damn! Now we can't even look at the textbooks until Monday. So sien...

Letting it out

Sigh... I just want to voice out my feelings here.

While listening to the song from fish's blog, it makes me sad.
Last year, before I left for London, I had a feeling that things will change the following year. I spent a lot of time with friends. (Emma, me and fish) (Liyana, Anu, Emma and me) (Anu, me, Emma and fish) etc..
I think as a result, I didn't get better marks for that semester. I blamed myself for that.
We had such a good time together, with or without photos. I was happier later in the year than the beginning of the year.
I miss those times.
Why the change though??

Sigh...
Well...
I trust God for the change.
I should be happy this year.
I made more friends this year and get along well with them.
But thinking about last year makes me sad and miss those times.